Please Don't Speak to The Writer!

 

Please Don’t Speak to the Writer!      

Writers write because that is their preferred method of communicating to others and the world in general. The ideal writing job is to be isolated from our subject and “everyone else” out there in our noisy world.

Writers don’t make good diplomats or sales people. We don’t do small talk or schmooze. Most of us don’t like crowds or large gatherings of any kind – even sometimes our own family. It’s not personal, it’s just the way we were made; to be alone to mull things over. And yes, we have a tendency to overthink things sometimes.

Most writers are akin to hibernating bears - solitary, clannish, and grumpy when crossed. Writers are only garrulous within their sub-species – other writers, where they talk endlessly over tea about their genres, sentence structure, and the oxford comma.

There are two main types of writers – straight up journalists – the who-what-where-when-how-and-why crowd who can only deal in facts and reality, and the creative writers who walk among the general population constantly toying with an endless supply of ideas in their minds and birthing whole other worlds within their imaginations. Sometimes you’ll find a writer who is a mixture of those two worlds who can easily cross genres within a single breath.

Writers are always thinking and observing and can be obsessively busy even while sitting still in a doctor’s office. Sometimes they are so preoccupied with internal dialogue that they often resent any intrusions or distractions to their thought processes.

Writers are often like that unassuming rock you kicked over in the forest – nothing to look at on the upside, but teeming with activity, ideas, and life underneath if you happen to stop and take a closer look.

And sometimes we don’t have the most pleasant of personalities, but we’re often left alone to mull, so we don’t get much practice.

The best writers are their own worst salespeople. We don’t schmooze, remember? We often get tongue-tied when we attempt to sell our work with a sales pitch. But when provoked, the only thing sharper than our tongues is our pen, or keyboard, and we have learned to wield it wickedly.

Drama Queen

 

                                                 Drama Queen

What do you get when you cross a Chihuahua with a Jack Russel Terrier? A tightly wound and wired little bundle of nerves and hair. She was my little drama queen, Katie of the couch.

This puppy came into our lives one June day in 2003. I had promised my boys I would get them a dog. They wanted for one for years, so I brought them with me when I answered the ad for a chihuahua mix. Since this was going to be an inside dog, my only stipulation was that it be female and small.

The first time we saw her, she was barely four or five pounds and playing on the sidewalk trying to lick up the ants.  The boys fell in love with her and we spent the next fifteen years on a wild rollercoaster of events with her.

The first thing we discovered was that she, being a chihuahua mix, had an iron stomach; nothing much fazed her, except baths. Her first bath was traumatic because it was given by a thirteen-year-old boy when I was at work. He had no other choice because she got stuff all over her and it smelled. He didn’t know that you can’t leave puppies alone for one second in big tubs. I got an emergency call from him saying that Katie went under and he couldn’t revive her. I think I broke every speed record getting home and her to the vets, all the while Jay was in the backseat attempting mouth to snout resuscitation. After what Katie tried to eat, that was an act of love. She recovered and we took her home the next day. The next six months flew by and as most dogs do, she loved people food. She stalked it. We found out the hard way not to leave food unsupervised – she would often grab something from our plates and drag it behind a chair to eat. She once ate a whole chipotle sandwich. 

Katie had a favorite toy she loved to death – it was a cloth monkey that she would shake senseless just to see all its arms, legs, and tail flail about while growling. When I took her to be spayed it was too late. As the vet was checking her out, I pointed out that I was concerned her teats were swelling. “Uh oh”, he said. I had to swear up and down she hadn’t been with any other dogs. “Well, then,” he informed me, “Looks like she’s going through a false pregnancy – we have to wait for this to run it’s course before she gets spayed.” That monkey never left her side for the next six months.

This dog was an acrobat. She learned how to position herself on the back of my husband’s chair to hang over his shoulders in her efforts to intercept popcorn from the bag on its way to his mouth.

She also learned to balance herself on the back of my couch that was in front of my picture window. She loved soaking in the late afternoon sunshine. And during winters she practically baked herself in front of the heater grates.

Katie had a propensity to throw her hair in all directions when she was stressed, much like a cornered porcupine. One holiday my brother, whom Katie had never seen, walked in through the front door, his voice booming hello to everyone. Katie took one look at him, squealed, and dove onto my lap. After she managed to pee all over me, she sealed the deal with a quarter of her hair.

In the last five years of her life, she was on heart medications as she became progressively weaker. One rainy day in late September, she fell on her side and couldn’t get back up. Her breathing was erratic, but she held on until her boys got home. It was a steady rain the night she died and the boys insisted she stay at home. She was buried just after midnight. Lanterns lit the area in the backyard while the sound of shovels could barely be heard over the pouring rain carving her final resting place. A bit melodramatic? Yes. But Katie wouldn’t have had it any other way. Sweet dreams, my little drama queen.

 

published in Jackson Living community magazine October 2020

Blessings and Thankfulness

Blessings  and Thankfulness

Blessings come in all sizes and many forms, but the one thing they have in common is that they are all the good things in our lives.  For most of us, what we have been blessed with we become accustomed to and generally take them for granted. Health, home, family, communities, and opportunities. We don’t think about them too much until we cross paths with those who are not so blessed.

What we often don’t realize is that sometimes true blessings come in the form of something that is withheld or doesn’t materialize – something that we may have thought we wanted or needed.  What do most of us do when that happens? That depends upon our disposition and perspective.  Because none of us can foresee the future, we don’t know what the potential outcome would be for any of our actions or inactions, but for those that live by faith, we trust that everything will work out, regardless of what comes our way. That car that cut you off, or that phone call that prevented you from leaving your home at a particular time and delayed your arrival by minutes. You don’t know what that prevented.

The synchronicity of the timing in our lives is a divine mystery that is hard to fathom. How each of us arrived at this particular point in life is the direct result of a complex series of events for which we all need to be thankful.

Thankfulness is a state of mind.

Thankfulness isn’t relegated to one day of the year. It is the state of your heart and mind. This is what determines one’s level of contentment in life. When we express our thankfulness, our brains release serotonin and dopamine, which in turn, make us feel better. Being thankful also helps us get through the inevitable struggles we all face from time to time in this journey called life.

 

Thankful people are healthier.

Researchers have found that when we are thankful, we have higher energy levels. This also strengthens our heart and immune systems, and those benefits have the potential to lengthen our lifespans.

Thankful people are happy people.

There is a direct link between thankfulness and happiness, health, and well-being. It’s on our focus. When our thoughts dwell on what we do not have we see everything else in a negative light. Our thinking changes, and over time, it affects our quality of life.

Cicero once said, “A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.”

Blessings to all.

 

published in Jackson Living community magazine, November 2020

 

 

 

The Serendipity of Stark Tales, the Anthology

How did we get to this unique place with our Anthology - it being a Limited Edition?
A stroke of genius? Dumb Luck?
Serendipity?

Synchronicity.
When opportunity and disaster collide with intuitive creativity, you get surprising results.The creative mind is a funny thing, always seeing patterns, seeking answers to questions not yet asked, and leapfrogging over itself in a frenzy to get to that elusive idea lurking on the other side of consciousness.Sometimes things happen for a reason and events just fall into place.Sometimes disasters are gifts in disguise.And sometimes the gift is in recognizing opportunities when they present themselves.

                    ~ Mela Saylor, author of Time Flies at 8:20
in the Greater Canton Writers' Guild Anthology, Stark Tales

The Gift of Time

Whether we’re happy about it or not, most of us have been housebound for about a month. For those of us used to an active life, this is a derailment – an interruption in our lives, and as such, it can put us in an emotional tailspin. I sat on my couch and did nothing but crochet and listen to the news for  two weeks straight.  The constant news cycle was depressing and frightening. Sometimes it’s hard to get out of the dark places we find ourselves in.

But then I realized two things: 1) I’m happier when I’m busy, and 2) I was given the gift of time.  I no longer had excuses for the  things I put off. (Cleaning does not count!)

I finally had the  time to write that story I had been putting off. That story makes me happy – and in writing that, I can entertain myself for hours.

Get Out of That Funk!

We deal with stressors in many ways. Some of us sleep a lot, and some of us eat. What we really need right now is to turn off that television, get off the couch, and DO something that makes us happy. Listen to your favorite music – Loud! (If it’s not loud, what’s the point, really?)  If you’re a cook, try new dishes. Take a walk and get some sunshine and fresh air. Take your vitamins – call a friend who makes you laugh. Pass this time productively. Take care of yourself and advantage of this time of rest.

Part 2 of 4 Concerning Critique

Don’t skip the process

There is a process of natural progression to writing that shouldn’t be skipped.

Beginning writers need to learn and spend much time writing before they are ready for critique of any kind. They need to get those first (awful) stories written. They need to learn about building story arches in their work, building characters, and find out where and when backstory is appropriate. They need to find their voices and be comfortable with them. Is their tendency to narrate or write in first person? This is a different process for everyone. 

First and foremost, beginners need encouragement, direction, and much time spent actually writing and learning about writing before they are ready to move on. Going directly to critique group does no one any favors. I understand the (general?) thought prevalent – “I’ll write this (story, novel) one critique at a time.” Uh hu, sure. And after each critique, you go home and “fix” your work according to general consensus. What is left when you are done with what’s basically a cut-and-paste editing job is something completely devoid of your unique voice.

Fact: You can take your story to ten different people, which I would not advise, one right after the other and when you’re done making all their suggested changes, you will no longer recognize what you started out with.  Is this what you want? There will be enough of that if you’re lucky to get your story to an editor/publisher. Save something of yourself.

Part 1 of 4 Concerning Critique

Is Critique worth your time?  Maybe not.

People write for many reasons, and everyone is at varying degrees of education in writing, many of them self-taught. They also have many foibles, likes and dislikes about writing, which inherently, eke into their opinions of any given work handed to them.

Like the general public about art, they may not know anything, but they know what they like.  Ever heard that one before?  And chances are you’ve used that phrase one or twice.  Any given person’s opinion on anything is only valid if they have the training and experience to back it up. Opinions are not facts. Say this out loud with me: Opinions are not facts.

In order to make solid, grounded judgments on any given body of work, the person making those calls needs to know how to write well – and simply not by hearing, but they also need to know the mechanics of our language. i.e. when using colons or semi-colons is called for. Or the m-dash versus the n-dash.   New writers cannot do that. And if they were to be critiquing any work – even of other new writers, that would be a classic case of the blind leading the blind. Again, Opinions are NOT facts.   That’s the equivalent of a 12-year old critiquing someone who’s been writing for 15 years. A Waste of Time.

Next time you’re at critique, take a look around the room. Do you know anything of the person beside you who you are trusting with your manuscript? How can you know if your partner(s) have the correct amount of experience to guide you with your writing? Will you learn anything in the process? Will you learn why something works or doesn’t work?

The Gift

    The art of story telling is a gift. Creativity and imagination are also gifts not everyone is given. They are given to us by our creator to enjoy.  The arts make life bearable.

    Being human, most of us are pushing our limits with everything we’ve been given, and this includes our writing. Frustration often sets in when we attempt to monetize our gift for profit.

    In a perfect world all of us would be able to make a living using those gifts – and wouldn’t it be wonderful! But think about it for a moment. Your imagination – the imagination of a writer. There’s not many people walking around with worlds inside of them.

You are a writer because you write. And your gift is no less valid than someone who is published. Who is to say those who are published are happy with their end product?  We don’t know how much they had to change their story on their editor’s advisement in order to get it published in the first place. And if they were self-published? They are on their own with the endless hustling for sales.  

    What I am trying to say is that there are many, many hoops to jump through when someone attempts to monetize their gift.  Be happy and enjoy it for what it is – a gift to you.

    Write for yourself, write for the love of writing, write to get your story and the characters you create out of your head and onto paper.

Enjoy the process, the creation of something from nothing: enjoy the creative high when you create a new story line. But whatever you do, please enjoy that gift that is uniquely yours.

Merry Christmas & a Blessed New Year