From Here to There

Time Management

Part 2 in a 2-part series

From Here to There

My dad had a by-and-by type of personality – nothing much fazed him and if he didn’t get something done today, that’s what tomorrow is for.  I take after my mother- for me, it’s all or nothing.

During a discussion with a friend, I was asked why I couldn’t just do something for its own sake, and not aim for a date of accomplishment. The words that fell out of my mouth surprised me.  I’m a goal-oriented person and if I don’t have a goal to aim for, I don’t aim for anything.

Problem #1 We Set Goals that are Intimidating

Oftentimes we envision the result without realizing that a lot of little steps lie between you and it. And sometimes maybe we sabotage ourselves with seemingly impossible goals.  At first glance “I want to write a book”.  Becomes the mountain in front of us. That goal is enormous in our minds and we end up not following through.

What we need to do is break that into smaller attainable goals. Don’t try to go from point A to point Z in a single bound. There are many smaller steps between where you are now and where you want to be.  And to get there we must ask ourselves what we need to do, arrange, or move to accomplish those goals.

-          What can I do each day that will get me closer to what I want to get done?

-          What can I do in 15 minutes a day?   30 minutes?

        Plot?     Characters?    World Building?    Outline?

-          Can I write a page a day?

-          Do I have a place to do this without interruption?

The point I am trying to make is that nothing gets done without intent.  We are not helpless characters in our lives – or are we? 

My personal go-to is the 15 minutes to an hour in bed before I turn out the lights for the night.  I have a pile of notebooks two feet high sitting on a small footstool beside my bed.  I call it my Jenga-pile.  This works for me because many of my current works-in-progress are always on my mind throughout the day, marinating in the background.

And if you are wanting to write a story or novel, ask yourself these questions:

        1)   What is your idea?  You always start with an idea.

       2)    What happens?  There is always action – that’s what makes a story.

       3)     How much happens?  It’s not one chapter, is it?

       4)     Why?  That’s probably going to be your “hook”.

5   5)      And then what?  For every action, yada, yada, yada.  And most importantly,

       6)      How does this end?

NOTE: If you don’t know how this ends before you begin, you will end up writing both yourself and your poor character(s) into a circle and your story will flounder.

Someone once told me “Know how your story ends before you begin writing – and then write toward that end. The great thing about writing it toward the ending is that then you will be able to lay a lot of groundwork throughout your story for your “ta-da” moment, your ending

Problem #2 Time

While we all have the same amount of time in our daily lives, some of us have more obligations and outside interference that consumes our downtime.

May I suggest that “finding” time could possibly be a matter of rearranging the time we have into manageable blocks?  If something is ON and IN my mind, I can surely sit and write for at least 15 minutes – before the evening news, or in place of the news.  Before bedtime or after lights out.  Like last night – this article was on my mind and I have this little book light clip at my bedside.  Up comes my pillow to block a lot of the light and I pull my notebook over onto the bed to keep writing.  My notebook is never too far away these days.  Even “finding” time, once the desire hits, is a multi-step process.  Small steps. 

My life has always been a bit like a Chinese puzzle: to move one thing, something else needs moved first, and on down the line.  It’s like the room over my garage. It’s been over-filled with furniture, books, canvases and art supplies – then there’s the computer desk and accoutrements - and oh, yeah – that big round work table I have stuff on and under.

I needed to be able to use that darn room – although I’ve been able and have written anywhere.  All I really need is a flat surface and a pen. Decisions were made, and I brutally went through it removing some things and completely discarding others. It was hard to let go of some perfectly good things that I no longer had any use for.  And again, it seemed that I had to move one thing before I could move another.  Now I can use that room the way it was meant – a place where I can paint and write.  But that is sometimes the way it is with our time: to do something, we really want/need, we need to move things, events, circumstances around to where it works for us.

Personal Resources

Time Management

 Part I in a 2-part series

Personal Resources

There is a billboard on Whipple Avenue that I pass almost every day that is advertising a car dealership.  While I’m not interested in buying one, it caught my attention because this dealership claimed that buying a car from them was not going to cost anyone their Saturday. Not money, but time is the resource they are claiming to save their customers.

Money is something that is always coming and going, but time, once spent, is something we cannot get back. How do we treat our time? Is it something we value or do we “kill time” surfing the internet?  I did some thinking about how much time is wasted during each day and week and came up with my list.  I am guilty of duplicating my errands – going to the grocery store and/or Marc’s several times a week. I could save at least two hours – that I could have spent writing – if I planned ahead and did ALL my shopping on one day a week.  I also spend too much time on the phone and internet games.  Then there is television at night.  If I spent even one hour writing instead of watching tv during the week, that would be another 5 hours I’d have.

I know carving out extra time in our days can be difficult. There are many things, organizations, people, and obligations that claim our time, and many times we are helpless in the face of such demands that we may feel our time is not our own. I’ve been there and I know. I know that when you are physically exhausted, your brain doesn’t want to work either.

I’ve been a member of the Writers’ Guild since 2007 and I’ve held office since 2008. That’s when my boys were in junior high and high school. It wasn’t easy, but I made my opportunities to write – because I needed to write. Everywhere I went I would take what I was working on.  I wrote in the car – in the high school parking lot, at the bowling alley, getting the car’s oil changed/serviced.  I wrote in a lot of doctors’ waiting rooms too. I didn’t let an idle moment go to waste.

Decisions, decisions

Sometimes it comes down to the choices we make and how engaged we are in our writing. As in art, there are two separate but equal sides to the writing process: the creative side (I’ve got to “feel” it!) and the work side (just buckle down and DO it!). The problem comes when we are waiting to feel like writing – for the muse to speak to us. And most of the time our muse doesn’t come until she sees us busy writing.

Before you Break the Rules

Free form crochet by definition, has no rules.  But that doesn’t mean there aren’t stitches and forms that need learned to do this successfully. This is a mixture of different stitches, crochet forms, and yarns that in the end look like a crazy quilt of yarns.  The catch-22 is that to do this free-for-all, one needs to know a myriad of stitches.  This is not for beginners.

Likewise, if I want to paint a picture but don’t follow artistic guidelines such as perspective, my painting would be a hot mess, and I wouldn’t (shouldn’t) want to show it to anyone.  

Patterns, directions, and rules, both grammar and composition, are like road maps: they successfully get you where you want to go.  If they didn’t matter, they wouldn’t exist.  This is something the old masters knew.  To put something together, there are directions that need followed. People who crochet and knit have patterns they follow to make beautiful afghans, artists follow rules of composition, perspective, and design, and writers use grammar rules and composition to write coherent, beautifully written pieces of work.

Why do I have to write this? This needs said.  Don’t scoff at the rules.  My grandmother (the artist) always told me that if anyone could read and follow directions, they could do anything.  This is true.  Many people today are under the impression that rules don’t matter; they are “mavericks” for not needing to follow rules.  They are following their own drummer -  yada, yada, yada.   And this is where we are culturally, the dissing of the rules.  This is not the sign of a maverick, making up his own rules.  This is the sign of a lazy mind.

There have been notable instances of people who broke the rules and were successful in their writing – but they knew the rules first.  The take-away here is that to SUCCESSFULLY break the rules, you must first know them. And that fact remains true across all fields, except perhaps in art, sadly. The decline of artistic standards, (thank you Jackson Pollack) however, is a subject for another column.

Osmosis and You

Many things naturally occur by osmosis, but learning isn’t one of them. In particular, good writing doesn’t happen by osmosis- it’s not a virus one can catch by sitting next to someone who writes well.  Neither can one catch it by simply coming to every guild meeting.

Good writing takes effort, time, and a willingness to learn – the ability to take instruction is key.

It is up to members what their “take-away” is for each meeting.  Up until now we have not offered any instruction on the basics other than the offered programs at various meetings through the year.  The membership as a whole is writing on many levels and we do try to offer a variety of programs to appeal to all levels.  It’s a juggling act.

The dilemma here is that beginning writers don’t know what they don’t know, and some not enough to ask for instruction.

First stories, while a celebration and milestone for the new writer are still just that - first stories, practice - and never meant for publication.  They are something to get ‘under your belt’.  They are a true learning experience.

For every writer the key is to practice.  While some people come to writing with innate talent, writing is still a craft and that means it CAN be learned.

First story, second story, drafts and prompts – no writing is ever “wasted time” as long as you are learning and growing from those.

You will get out of this exactly what you put into it.

Good writing to you all.

3' x 3' oil painting I did at my mom's this summer.  This was my first landscape painting - ever.  It was a learning experience.

Third afghan in as many months

The Last Snowflake

The Last Snowflake

Spring came early
in February;
sunny days, blue skies,
cumulous clouds abound.
Sweater weather, shorts and sandals,
daffodils were teased above ground.

That was yesterday.
Now I drive in a squall
counting the snowflakes, 
wondering when I'll see
the last snowflake  fall.

The Art of Listening

I grew up hearing my grandfather say that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason: we should listen twice as much as we talk. There is nowhere more apparent for this need as there is in large group settings.

As writers we are often isolated in pursuit of our endeavors and need the social interaction with those of our own ilk – yes, I did say ilk!  No one understands another writer like other writers.  And when we do get together it is understandable that we are excited to talk shop.  I’ve often gone home from our meetings excited about what we’ve discussed and eager to write.  When there is an emotional connection, a coming together of the minds, we recharge creatively, and that’s a good thing.  But oftentimes during the course of the evening, our enthusiasm gets the better of us and there is less of a give-and-take in the conversation as one or a few people often end up dominating the conversation, however interesting tangents those might be. 

The part the moderator plays in any given meeting is 1) to keep the conversation going and on track,  2) make sure everyone gets a chance to speak – being sensitive to those who can’t seem to get a word in edgewise! And 3) leading with questions, but not talking about themselves and their own writing unless specifically asked.  I understand the “me-too!” quotient – this is a form of identifying with others, but this is also a form of hijacking conversations!  I’ve often been guilty of this when talking to my younger son who would then brutally respond by saying “Way to make it about you, mom!”  So with that in mind I would like to gently remind us all that when people speak, let them talk. Listen without interruptions.  This is group give-and-take.  Side conversations belong after the meeting, not in the middle of it.  If those specific comments and questions pertain to the meeting, I encourage you to take your turn and bring those questions/comments up for us all during the course of the evening.  If they have nothing to do with the meeting then those conversations definitely belong after we are adjourned.   When side conversations start occurring, this is the point of group disintegration.    

There is nothing better than being part of inspiring, stimulating group discussions where everyone has a voice and everyone is heard. As different as we are, we have a lot in common – and we have a lot to say on many subjects – we are writers, after all. Opinionated, eccentric, and garrulous – my tribe. God love us.

Perfecting our Craft

Mused

January 2017                                                                   ~ Mela Saylor

January is always a good time to take stock of our situations and make a plan for improvement in all things – and of course I mean writing or any creative endeavor. Practice makes perfect, but if we’re practicing our craft wrong in the first place, continued practice is not going to help us at all.  In February it will be three years since I have picked up a crochet hook and a ball of yarn. I can look back and visibly see the improvement in my crocheting.  I found good teachers on the internet and watched them until I understood and saw exactly what they were doing.  There are many people on Youtube who have tutorials and some of them are not good.  They’re confusing and shouldn’t be there in the first place, but hey – it’s a free country.  It’s left up to the viewer to discern the difference between good teaching and bad.  And now after three years I understand a lot more than I did when I first started.

And so it should also be with our writing, for that also is a craft.  Some would argue that writing is a talent that many are born with.  I don’t disagree. Some people have a natural affinity toward writing, many of whom write “by ear” – not exactly knowing the rules of grammar and composition but knowing what good writing is by hearing it.  However, for the majority of people, writing is and can be learned.   To all who read this – please assume you are one of the majority until you are told by someone who actually knows something that you are not.  This is not said as a derogatory statement, but one from a teaching standpoint.  In order to learn, one must be teachable. To be teachable, one must never argue or make excuses when a correction is suggested. That is one standing rule of critique group – to listen and not argue your point.  Besides, your words must stand without any explanation.  If they can’t stand alone, you’ve some serious work to do.

I have spoken to a writing mentor of mine and asked what one thing should I be working on that will help improve my writing.  I plan on concentrating on that this year. No matter where we are as writers, we have room to improve.  The point is that we grow in our writing.  Don’t go to family members for feedback. Your family and friends aren’t going to be honest, really.  There is always room for correction and even if they knew anything about writing they wouldn’t hurt you for the world. Flattery isn’t going to improve anyone’s writing. Whose mother doesn’t think they’re a genius?

Find someone who is more experienced – and published in the area in which you are writing and ask them what you should be working on.  Don’t go to a novelist for advice if you’re writing poetry – and don’t go to a poet if you’re writing essays, articles or even short stories.  Even within the realm of poetry there is a wide array of opinion and disagreement on style and form.  Sometimes there are no rules to be found in poetry.  It may not be so, but many times it seems to me like there’s an “anything goes” attitude, much like a “personal truth” Find a person in your niche that you can trust for an honest educated opinion.  

Tradition

From the tree trek in the woods to the hand-blown glass ornaments that Great Aunt Pauline handed down, Christmas is just as much about family traditions as it is about our shared religious beliefs. When we hike in hip deep snow in snow storms up and down the side of hills looking for that perfect tree, we remember doing this with our families or fathers when we were young. And we create new memories with our children. Sometimes those memories are of enormous Christmas trees that were too big for our living rooms. Somehow they always look smaller in the fields than they do when we get them home. Think Chevy Chase’s Christmas Vacation.  I think it was last year that we physically had to orbit our tree to get to the dining room.

One year I learned the hard way one should always decorate all the way around a tree even if it is against a wall. That was also the year I put up a (flimsy) artificial tree, the likes of which hubby would never have approved.  I’m sure every one of us has a memorable Christmas tree story. Mine is about the very first (and first real) Christmas tree I had when first married. That year we learned that one should NEVER hose down a tree (full of road salt, of course) in 20 degree weather.  It ended up defrosting all night in our kitchen – snap-crackle-pop!  Twenty-seven Christmas trees later, it is still a surprise what kind of tree hubby brings back and how I plan to decorate it – or attempt to cover it up! I think we’ve had two perfect trees in all these years. Last year I picked out the tree with one of my boys. When we got it back and in the house we discovered that from one side in particular – it looked pregnant.  That was the one we had to orbit. But those are memories I think of when I start to get all our Christmas stuff out of the attic.  I smile reliving all that.

Sometimes it’s about remembering all the different size trees we’ve had in the past years and how we handled those obstacles. Sometimes it’s about reliving our childhood and all the memories of Christmases past and turning off the television and turning on the Christmas music and the tree lights – all eleven strands of them! But it’s what we do together and how we create Christmas anew each year that binds us together as families.

So why the heck not?

After listening to a newly published friend's excitement about being published FOR THE FIRST TIME - EVER!, I started wondering  what I was waiting for.  I had allowed a number of years to lapse without making an effort to get anything published since I wrote for Doctor of Dentistry professional magazine.  Sure, I had written a few short stories and some poetry, but nothing I really considered serious writing.  But honestly, writing does not have to be non-fiction to be considered serious and print-worthy.  So I started small and from one link to another
(you know how that works on the internet), I found the site of Haiku Journal and submitted two of my haiku poems I had played around with about two years ago and didn't do anything with.  The response I received from the site was almost immediate. 

I LOVE Borders!

I Love Borders!

Like a star atop a Christmas tree or a frame around a painting, borders are a beautiful artistic necessity on my afghans that proclaim “Ta-Da!” the work is finished.

From a simple corner to corner to an ornately detailed afghan, borders are the finishing touch. They frame the work and provide a definitive ending to the work and keep the edges from looking arbitrary, as if the person who made it just decided to call it quits and ended it there. Many times I’ve used multiple borders and included many of the colors I’ve used in making the afghan. The border is not the place to introduce new colors to the piece! It’s my artistic eye that won’t let me get away with anything ordinary and I love the challenge of learning new stitches – especially crocheting “lace” for the edging.

Borders – I adore them. They are akin to the flounce on a dress, the ribbon around a bonnet, and the bow upon a gift.

I finished this last spring and at the time it was a challenged for me.

This type is called crochet overlay.  I just discovered it this past June

Basic corner to corner. I did this because I was intrigued by the 11 rounds of border!

My first corner to corner. I made 4 of the exact same pattern and sewed them corner to corner.

I did this for one of my boys. These are his colors. Corner to corner

up close the pattern is an abstract cat shape

Afghan pictures and wedding gifts

  I have four nieces, three of them are sisters, all on my husband's side of the family.  When the first one became engaged to be married I had just learned to crochet and thought, hmm, I 'll give this a try.  After all, when I married into this family, one of my husbands's aunts made me an afghan as a wedding gift.  

This is my latest wedding gift afghan.  She doesn't get this for two more weeks.  This is by far the most complicated one I've made.  I don't know how I'm going to top this.  These are all made for queen size beds.

detail to wedding #3

Wedding afghan for wedding #2

mine  made in late 2014 - early 2015

This was the first "real" pattern I followed.  I wanted to know if I could actually follow a written pattern.  Yea me!

Wedding gift #1 Finished September 2015

Just because afghan for friend  February 2016

Cat patterned afghan - detail

detail to the one I made to match the quilt I made.

Wedding afghan #2.  These are "her" colors.  I wanted to do something "beachy" as she lives on a lake.  I had to do this in a two month time period since she was in a hurry to get married!  Finished  early April 2016

I wanted to try my hand at a Corner to Corner patter.   love the texture in these.